Things That Should be considered Chinese sterotypes but probably are not that well known

--> A Love for the movie titanic and singing My heart will go on at any possible acceptable moment.

--> If you are Chinese American or another hyphenated Chinese you love Savage Garden specifically the song Truly Madly Deeply.

--> Jay Chou is hot, you probably have a pin or a picture of him somewhere you keep in a treasured spot.

In Light of My "New" Voice

So since I just made a post about how I am going to post more about the things I feel instead of just random posts about random things.

Today during my 'Cultural Production of Asian American Women' class when were talking about the way both Women and Asians have both been ostracized in the US society. And while we were thinking about it I came to an interesting conclusion: My biggest insecurity isn't that I am Asian, it isn't that I am a women, it's not that I'm getting my degree from a State school. It's the fact that I'm fat.

I think it's because I don't really think too much about the fact I'm Asian, or rather that i don't think too much about Asian being all too different from white. I suppose since I've known nothing else and I've never been made fun of for being Asian. And as for being a women, I suppose I don't feel I've ever been discriminated against it. but when you have a mother who is constantly telling you that the reason you couldn't find a job is because you're fat, or you can't get a boyfriend because you're fat that's really what sticks with you.

And I think the amount of fat shaming in our society is appalling. People view things as being a women or being Chinese (Asian, you know) but being fat you know that's something you can change supposedly. and it's really interesting that we can talk about how we are marginalized in our society about such things. And then the thing I feel most insecure about is something that isn't considered academic, or had tons of literature written about it. And that ideas that we hold about weight and body image are very driven by the media and aren't considered apart of academic study. But really we have to accept that people are built differently.

Cause you know everyone is their own unique flower.

The fact of the matter is.

So it came to my attention the other day that my blog is nearly a year and a half old, and I really haven't posted that much. It I think it is because I'm afraid that people will read it.

Ironically (although I seem to have problems with irony much like Alanis so maybe only coincidentally) I used to post a lot on my blog on highschool because I was desperate to know what people thought of what I thought and for people to pay attention to me. But really do I want to pour my heart and soul out on this thing because I've read my High school blog, it is embarrassing.

But I've decided today that a blog is for writing in and I should be proud of my voice and not be afraid to post what i want to on it. Seems like I should already do that since I'm am outspoken in other parts of my life. So that's it I guess I'm going to try and blog more, and not just about what I do, but really how I feel, maybe I will even post some fiction, (although probably not).

So this is me posting about posting and about how I want to flip convention the bird, not that I don't do that already or something.

All I can say,

So this weekend I fell back into the world of debate, if only for a little while. I judged some rounds, some really bad. Some REALLY REALLY BAD (seriously debate for stupid people?) Listened to some debates. Talked to some old debate friends. I got to judge the last policy round of the tournament though which was a good round, even though I squirreled (voted differently from the other two judges).

Out of this whole thing I've come to one conclusion. I'm really glad that I'm not in high school anymore. Seems silly but it's true, apparently once you get to a certain age you really are too old for some shit, and now i sound like a grumpy old grandma, damn kids playing their rap music, pull up your pants!